A Hamburger who likes hot dogs has won his weight in franks. Chris Hamburger, a senior at Drake University in Des Moines, was reading “For Him” magazine — a British publication that features scantily-clad women and articles designed to appeal to young men — and he came upon an essay contest.
The headline read “Win Your Weight in Hot Dogs” and Hamburger decided to tell his story. “I was just kind of like, O.K., I like free stuff,” he says. Hamburger really doesn’t like burgers. He prefers hot dogs, and he typed out a page-long essay and e-mailed it to the magazine. “It didn’t take very long to write because it’s been something has been bothering me for quite a while, just getting made fun of for my name,” Hamburger says.
Hamburger, who is a member of the Drake men’s soccer team, says in high school, local broadcasters used puns when it ran stories about his soccer team. Hamburger makes “a whopper of a pass” and the Knights are “trying to play ketchup” were just a few of the published phrases. The worst was “Hamburger’s shot didn’t have enough mustard on it and the goalie scooped it up like a Happy Meal. I’ve actually got plenty of tapes of that stuff,” Hamburger says. “It’s still fairly embarrassing.”
Hamburger says he loves his name because it’s hard to forget, but he hates it when people use his name to make bad jokes or puns. Hamburger has heard them all. “I think I got made fun of about a hundred times every day from kindergarten all the way through sixth grade,” Hamburger says.
Hamburger says when he goes to McDonald’s with friends, they all point out that he’s getting a hamburger, and when he’s riding past a Wendy’s sign that boasts of the chain’s “classic hamburgers” friends ask him if it’s weird to see his name in lights. “I don’t really think about it but they apparently do and like to give me grief about it,” Hamburger says.
Hamburger, who is from Lincoln, Nebraska, won 255 pounds of hot dogs because of his essay. A shipment of six-hundred five-packs of Ballpark franks arrived at his apartment. “I’ve actually got most of ’em out of the ‘frig now,” he says. “I’ve just given them away to friends and just pretty much anybody who wants ’em.”
Hamburger also got enough coupons to get another two-hundred packages of hot dogs, and the penny-pinching college student is using those coupons. “It’s pretty nice because I only have to spend 88 cents for an eight-pack of buns and then $1.59 or whatever it is for a thing of ketchup and I’m squared away for meals for the week,” Hamburger says.
Hamburger’s name comes from Germany where generations ago his ancestors were called “Hamburgers” because they lived in Hamburg. Hamburger isn’t sure how his parents will react when they read his essay. Hamburger says he wrote it in the style of the magazine, so it is fairly “inappropriate” but he hopes his parents will take it in good humor.
Hamburger will be featured on the cover of the January issue of “For Him” magazine.